Thursday, April 8, 2010

Poor Neglected Blog

I'm still here although my blog probably thinks I abandoned it. I actually had to go back and read my last entry because it's been that long. Almost 6 months, wow! Is anyone even still following me? If so, I'm gonna try to give you the short version of what's been happening with me (us).

After having my follow up appointment with the fertility doctor, he decided to take me off of the hormone patches that he had prescribed to me. He was confused when we were discussing some of my symptoms so he wanted to see where my levels were without using the patch. After about a week of being off of it, I had blood work done and met again with the fertility doctor to go over my results. He actually had good news for me. My FSH levels were back to normal!! I couldn't believe it and neither could he. He said that I was an interesting lady. I fully believe that God played a big part in this because there's no other explanation of why things went back to normal.

Just when we felt like things were getting back to "normal" we found out that Steve's mom had lung cancer. This was another blow to our crappy year. Luckily she was able to have an operation to remove the cancer and I'm happy to say that she is now cancer free!

The holidays came and went. We spent Christmas in New York with Steve's family. We had a great time and we were able to visit with family that we haven't seen in a long time.

Fast forward to January. I got a positive pregnancy test on the 20th. I was so, so excited and felt like things were finally going our way. I called my doctor to set up my appointments and to find out what I had to do to start my blood thinner shots (not something I was looking forward to but I knew it had to be done). I had my first appointment when I was 6 weeks along. I had an ultrasound just to confirm that I was in fact really pregnant. After dealing with the ovary issues, I needed to know for sure. I was so nervous at my appointment but after seeing that little flutter on the screen during the ultrasound, my mind was put at ease. I met with the nurse to go over everything I already know. My next appointment after that was scheduled for February 26th. A day or two before my appointment, I started to get really nervous. I had a bad feeling, like something wasn't right. I wasn't having morning sickness like I was before. I still had it but it wasn't that bad. When we got to the doctors office, we met with my doctor to go over some questions that we had then she took us to the ultrasound room (the same room that I was in when I got the horrible news about Andrew). After a quick exam, she proceeded to do the ultrasound. I could tell by her face when she started to look at the baby that something wasn't right plus I wasn't seeing that tiny flicker on the screen. She finally turned to us and said "I'm sorry but there's no heartbeat". I hate those words, hate them, hate them, hate them. Steve was a little confused, he didn't understand what she was trying to say. I just looked at him and said "there's no baby". I couldn't believe we were going through another loss. Just when things were looking so good, we get knocked down again. On March 4th, I had a d&c. It went okay considering the circumstances. The morning of the d&c, Steve's mom made a surprise visit. She flew in that morning from NY to be with us. She is such a great support for us as well as Steve's dad and my parents. We are very lucky to have supportive and caring families.

Now we're back at square one again. I'm tired of being disappointed. I feel like the past year has been one big disappointment after another. I am trying to stay positive though. There's nothing I can do to change the past, it is what it is.

With that being said, here are some pictures of Matthew from Easter. I can't believe he's going to be 3 years old in a few months. He's growing up so fast, too fast. He is talking so well and he knows how to count from 1 - 20, he knows his colors, shapes and ABC's. I'm so proud of him.


Tamara said...

I'm still following you, of course!

Malory said...


I am so sorry about your little boy. The same dates. crazy. I was a few days shy of 32 weeks. We lost our daughter due to a placenta abruption. You are right, I cannot believe it has been a year. I hope the anniversaries this month were gentle to you.

Your little Matthew is so adorable! I am sure he keeps you pushing on like our son has. I feel amazingly blessed to have him, I am not sure where I would I be without him.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I am now following yours :)

Jen said...

Hi! Your little man all dress up is so cute!
So sorry to read about your struggles...
Thanks for visiting my blog. I really enjoyed your music here. I love Watermark. It has been years since I have heard them. I saw them in concert about 10 years ago I think. So lovely and uplifting. Thanks!

Sarah said...

Hi there!

I'm giving away a Shabby Apple Dress today on my blog today here if you're interested.

Have a fab day!