Heavy Heart

It's been a month since we said hello and goodbye to our sweet baby boy. There isn't a day, hour or minute that doesn't go by that Andrew isn't on my mind. Often times, I find myself going through every detail of what happened from the time I found out that Andrew's heart stopped beating to the time we said our final goodbye at the cemetery. I miss our son terribly and wish that things could be different. I should be 36 weeks pregnant right now, not mourning the loss of our son. Last Friday I was suppose to go to a party for my cousin's birthday but I decided not to go because there were going to be 5 pregnant girls there. I tried to be that person that wasn't going to let that bother me but obviously it didn't work. As time goes on, I'm sure it will be easier for me to be in a situation like that but right now, it's not so easy.